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*{disclaimer: i am not a movie critic, i lack the skills,
talent and knowledge to make a meaningful contribution
to cinematic criticism. but like every asshole on the planet
i do have an opinion. what follows is my personal impression
of a film just recently watched.}*
Dark Shadows (2012)
ugggh!
quite possibly the WORST movie i've watched this year.
to be frank the official trailer is a much better movie
than the full-legnth time-waster.
{i suspect that the same will be true of the upcoming
"Frankenweenie" remake. why revisit?}
what? has Tim Burton finally jumped the shark?
visually the film is stunning, exactly what Tim Burton
delivers consistently.
the Cast? top-notch.
Johnny Depp delivers more punch with
a raised eye-brow than most actors do with an entire script.
Michelle Pfeiffer very hot and fully invested.
Helena Bonham Carter, what can i say? wifey delivers, though
the added-weight costume was extremely distracting. :-(
the same high-quality acting from Jackie Earle Haley, though
in his case, i kept thinking Rorschach(Watchmen)
Eva Green, Bella Heathcote,
and coming along nicely Chloe Grace Moretz
are all drop-dead gorgeous and unbelievably
adept actors!
throw into the mix: the king of vampires, Christopher Lee;
rocker Alice Cooper looking forty years younger,
and you have to ask yourself: why does this movie suck so much?
well,
i'm no critic, but i believe that this film doesn't
make up its mind what it wants to be. is it camp? yes, at times.
is it funny? in bits and pieces it is. is it horror? just barely.
it tries to ring all these bells and fails not because
the movie lacks talent, but because it lacks focus.
i would've preferred to save my Jackson and wait
for the TV spot three years from now.
everything good about this film
is already on the official trailer . . .
what a disappointment.
:-(
..
.ero
.
