THE AVENGERS (2012)

*{disclaimer: i am not a movie critic, i lack the skills,
talent and knowledge to make a meaningful contribution
to cinematic criticism. but like every asshole on the planet
i do have an opinion. what follows is my personal impression
of a film just recently watched.}*


THE AVENGERS (2012).


THE AVENGERS is a movie that begins with a car chase, fireworks,
explosions, load noises and . . . did i mention . . . fireworks? yes.


what can one say about a movie that follows up a car chase scene with
one where Scarlett Johansen in a tight little black dress is bound to
a chair and smacked about by a proto-fascist in a true S&M bondage homage.


well.


i suppose one can say the movie is . . . entertaining?


if you find this description of the opening enticing, then you are sure to
find THE AVENGERS a fun two hours.


if not, do not lose faith, Josh Whedon's screenplay and story saves this film by injecting
a good dose of snappy humor - since this humor is the only thing standing
between THE AVENGERS and your standard summer flick, i'll spare you
the spoilers.


Robert Downey, Jr. has honed his ego-centric Stark/Iron Man schtick
to the point where a sequel, IMIII, is a surety. hopefully we'll get to see more of
barefoot Gwyneth Paltrow in Daisy-Duke-Shorties than her scant cameos
in AVENGERS.


now for the good part. THE HULK.


this movie should have been entitled
THE INCREDIBLE MORPHING HULK AND HIS PUNY . . . er, uhm, . . . SUPER-FRIENDS.
i say Incredible MORPHING Hulk because incredibly, as the film progresses,
the Hulk gets smarter! don't ask. there is no explanation.


in any case, The Hulk carries the action to a point that one wonders
if the Black Widow will shove her weapon up her ass for all the good
it does. in fact, i half expected her to shove the gun up Captain America's
ass once his campy star-spangled underoos wore me down.


so, if this is destined to be the Best Super-Hero movie of 2012,
i'll not be looking forward to the Spider-Man Reboot nor to Broke-Back Batman.




Confession: when THE AVENGERS comes out on DVD i WILL watch it again;
I'll skip to the one scene that merits the Jackson price of admission:
an pissed-in-my-pants-funny exchange between the Hulk and Loki.
 'nuff said.

..
.ero
.




..
.ero
.

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